When It's Too Hard

This morning at 2AM my body really wanted to go on a run. I've been eating hardcore and I haven't been exercising. That can only mean one thing. I'm getting fat.


I miss the days when I would go running everyday and just spend time with God. It's been a hard year of not being able to run each day.


Today got laid this on my heart: When it get's too hard you quit.


It's true. Many of you guys have seen me quit at a young age. People would give up on me so I would give up on myself. When things weren't right I would quit. I ended up going to several different schools because of that. I even left my undergraduate schooling early. When relationships with friends were too hard I would find new friends. When I wasn't perfect or I didn't get those A's I would quit. When I was too fat I stopped eating. When life got too hard I wanted to be in Heaven. When things got hard I was done.


This week I've been struggling. I've been struggling with a class. I can't grasp it. This was the first time in a year that I've wanted to quit school. It's too hard I want to quit. I've even questioned "Is it really worth my money?" Was that just an excuse? Here I am sitting at the computer procrastinating on an assignment I will shortly attempt to finish.


When people get too close and hurt me I shouldn't quit. When things get hard I shouldn't quit. When things get hard I need to keep on. I need to keep on striving. When I struggling at keeping an A I should be okay with a B. Even though perfection is what I strive for.





“What if you have a genuine and captivating beauty that is marred only by your striving?”
― Stasi Eldredge

I must keep on trusting God. I must keep on trusting others. When things get hard, don't quit!


Frozen has many themes girls and women can relate to. Like the fear of letting someone in because of the fear of getting hurt.


One of my favorite songs is "Let It Go" in Frozen by Idina Menzel





The snow glows white on the mountain tonight
Not a footprint to be seen
A kingdom of isolation,
And it looks like I’m the queen.

The wind is howling like this swirling storm inside
Couldn’t keep it in, heaven knows I tried

Don’t let them in, don’t let them see
Be the good girl you always have to be
Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know
Well, now they know

Let it go, let it go
Can’t hold it back anymore
Let it go, let it go
Turn away and slam the door

I don’t care
What they’re going to say
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway

It’s funny how some distance
Makes everything seem small
And the fears that once controlled me
Can’t get to me at all

It’s time to see what I can do
To test the limits and break through
No right, no wrong, no rules for me
I’m free

Let it go, let it go
I am one with the wind and sky
Let it go, let it go
You’ll never see me cry

Here I stand
And here I'll stay
Let the storm rage on

My power flurries through the air into the ground
My soul is spiraling in frozen fractals all around
And one thought crystallizes like an icy blast
I’m never going back,
The past is in the past

Let it go, let it go
And I'll rise like the break of dawn
Let it go, let it go
That perfect girl is gone

Here I stand
In the light of day
Let the storm rage on,
The cold never bothered me anyway